Genuine love is the one thing that prevents the "sparks" from flying.  And it is no use arguing that, "But I don't like that fellow."  Or, "That woman gets on my nerves."  There is a great deal of difference between liking and loving.  I don't need to like someone (at least initially) to love them.

Liking is an instinctive reaction when people of similar interests and compatible personalities get together.  On the other hand, love is a conscious choice to put someone else's interests above my own.

The popular idea is that love is a feeling.  So, a husband can say to a wife, "I don't love you any more," simply because the first passion of romance is no longer present.  Very little love, or none at all may have been in the relationship at the start, but passion was ignited and the feelings generated led the couple into what ought to have been a life-long commitment.  But the feelings waned and the marriage was on the rocks.

As already stated, love is not a feeling.  Feeling inevitably follows a determined and consistent effort to love someone, but feelings on their own cannot sustain a relationship.  Whether in marriage, or in the more casual relationships formed in the course of everyday life, choosing to put the other person's interests above your own, is the only sure-fire way of preventing the "sparks" of conflict from flying.

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